Someday I'm going to realistically have a gazillion dollars with the allowance money my wife gives me as her personal slave and here are the simple things I'd like to do with that money that only a person with a gazillion dollars could do.
1. Buy a gym and get a membership there
2. Purchase a bag of sour patch kids
3. Go for a hike in my suburban backyard
4. Train domesticated dogs
5. Get a job
6. Listen to the birds during a rain storm
7. Feel the breeze of a hot summer day while under water
8. Pretend to care about others
9. Quilt a blanket and try to return the finished product to a random retail outlet
10. Get a clown as a personal bodyguard because you will either be afraid or highly entertained, either way, it saves me time to get away from you
11. Rob my own house and file an insurance claim to get newer updated stuff
12. Buy a planet and send sea monkeys there to cultivate the land
13. Start a forest fire in the desert
14. Buy a horse track and use it to race midgets on top of jockeys
15. Plant a crab apple tree and wait for those delicious apples to blossom
As I take a further look at this list. I guess most of these I can do now with the $5,000 I have in savings like number #1, #10, #12 & #14.
Oh well, it's like they always say, "Money buys happiness".
Author - Scott Kelley
Need to laugh at life's audacities? You've come to the right place here at "The Town Crier". No topic is safe and everything will be mocked.