Are you down in the slumps? Does your faith need to be stronger? Or are you just looking for something to do on your lunch break?
The Bible has it all and is a great talking piece to anyone of any religion at any age.
Now we all know these classic Bible quotes
Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Corinthians 13:4 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Psalm 23 - The Lord is my Shepard.
But here are some lesser known Bible verses that can motivate you just as well
1. Ezekiel 23:20: She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
(Wow, where was this woman during my teen years & by chance, maybe she just likes bestiality?)
2. Exodus 23:19 – Thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother’s milk.
(This just makes so much sense; wonder if that tidbit is in a Paula Deen cookbook?)
3. Leviticus 25:44 – You may purchase slaves among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase their children. You may treat them as your property.
(Another example of white people taking things too literally, I think we all know what I’m talking about here….pet owning. Not all animals should be in a zoo or in your house.)
4. Ezekiel 4:15 – “very well” God said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement”.
(Subway – Eat Fresh)
5. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 – If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her and he will never be allowed to divorce her.
(This sounds like reverse dating and just pure punishment for the guy to be with one woman the rest of his life….monogamy at its worst.)
6. Leviticus 15:19-20 – When woman has discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening.
(This reads like pure witchcraft voodoo to me, no wonder why the Salem Witch trials happened, just disgusting, put a cork in it ladies.)
7. Psalm 137:9 – Happy is the man who takes and dashes your infants against the rock.
(That happy guy is called a murderer, I’m sure this was just a simple case of someone not using Microsoft spell checker back in 200 B.C.)
8. Peter 3:7 – Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and with respect, treat them as the weaker partner.
(I can guarantee you that this always works in a marriage and the woman lives a long life happier for it.)
9. Deuteronomy 23:1 - No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
(But what about a testy tuck?)
10. Genesis 15:9 - The Lord answered, “Bring me a heifer three years old, a she-goat, three years old, a ram three years old, a turtle dove and a young pigeon.”
(I guess the Lord was trying to create a rock band or the worst variety act you’ve ever seen on Noah’s boat.)
There you have it, the unknown bible quotes from the bible that you should start preaching to everyone who throws bible verses at you.
It will start with a good conversation and end in the Middle East.
Author - Scott Kelley
Need to laugh at life's audacities? You've come to the right place here at "The Town Crier". No topic is safe and everything will be mocked.