A recent study has shown that most Americans want to be given handouts by the government. Something Richard Simms doesn’t believe in.
“You know you abuse government assistance when the sight of a job application makes you feel like superman when he’s next to kryptonite….ughhh….my weakness….work”, Richard Simms.
Richard Simms has been on disability for 40 years after he got a severe papercut.
It all started one day when opening up a letter on his desk. It was severe enough that the Doctors said he’d wouldn’t be able to work again for 2 whole days.
“It was the worst day of my life, then the next day, my whole family was killed”, Richard Simms.
With losing his whole family and usage of his hand for 2 days, Richard was at a crossroads. Richard decided enough was enough with the working world.
“You can’t just expect people to open up letters without a letter opener, it’s un-American”, Richard Simms.
Richard went on a quest to find a way to make a living. He ventured into the local towns Army recruiting offices and showed them his papercut hand. It was severe enough that Major Jack Brimstone gave him a personal referral to the disability office.
“These are the injustices we are out there fighting for, if one of your brother’s go down, you go down on him and help make him hard again”, Major Jack Brimstone.
Richard Simms remembered exactly what was going through his mind when Major Jack Brimstone told him about being on disability.
“What are we doing working when there’s that option, that’s like being in prison with a free get out of jail card but you’re sitting there plotting your escape”, Richard Simms.
After months of waiting, Richard finally got his letter from the disability office, he was denied. Richard was so upset that he fell down his stairs at home and became paralyzed for the rest of his life and on his way down, he gave himself another severe papercut.
“That was the 2nd worst day of my life next to my first severe papercut incident”, Richard Simms.
Richard was still unfazed by his whole family’s brutal murder; he kept pushing forward but this time, in a wheelchair. Richard still wanted to work and wondered if accommodations could be made for him but he said none of those options were presented to him at that time like how it is now. Documentation shows that Richard was indeed fully aware of those options 40 years ago.
“All the jobs they kept giving me were horrible, they expected me to sit all day, I get tired of sitting”, Richard Simms.
Richard decided to go back to Major Jack Brimstone and decided to enlist but he was deemed unfit. The only other option left was to file a new claim with disability and hope for the best. Again, after several months, the disability letter came. Richard was finally approved.
“That was the 2nd best day of my life next to my whole family being killed”, Richard Simms.
As the years went by, Richard watch generation after generation just accept handouts from the government. He believes that no one wants to work anymore and more people should be thankful they can even get a job while people like him can’t.
Richard planned on creating a movement towards freeing the people from the hands of the government system but sadly during the course of this interview, Richard went into a coma.
Over the next several weeks, Richard Simms tried to hang on but sadly, he passed away in a public hospital also known as a government hospital.
If we can take anything away from Richard Simms emotional trial and tribulations, it’s that one should never give up on what they want, even when faced with adversity.
Are you down in the slumps? Does your faith need to be stronger? Or are you just looking for something to do on your lunch break?
The Bible has it all and is a great talking piece to anyone of any religion at any age.
Now we all know these classic Bible quotes
Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Corinthians 13:4 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Psalm 23 - The Lord is my Shepard.
But here are some lesser known Bible verses that can motivate you just as well
1. Ezekiel 23:20: She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
(Wow, where was this woman during my teen years & by chance, maybe she just likes bestiality?)
2. Exodus 23:19 – Thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother’s milk.
(This just makes so much sense; wonder if that tidbit is in a Paula Deen cookbook?)
3. Leviticus 25:44 – You may purchase slaves among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase their children. You may treat them as your property.
(Another example of white people taking things too literally, I think we all know what I’m talking about here….pet owning. Not all animals should be in a zoo or in your house.)
4. Ezekiel 4:15 – “very well” God said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement”.
(Subway – Eat Fresh)
5. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 – If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her and he will never be allowed to divorce her.
(This sounds like reverse dating and just pure punishment for the guy to be with one woman the rest of his life….monogamy at its worst.)
6. Leviticus 15:19-20 – When woman has discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening.
(This reads like pure witchcraft voodoo to me, no wonder why the Salem Witch trials happened, just disgusting, put a cork in it ladies.)
7. Psalm 137:9 – Happy is the man who takes and dashes your infants against the rock.
(That happy guy is called a murderer, I’m sure this was just a simple case of someone not using Microsoft spell checker back in 200 B.C.)
8. Peter 3:7 – Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and with respect, treat them as the weaker partner.
(I can guarantee you that this always works in a marriage and the woman lives a long life happier for it.)
9. Deuteronomy 23:1 - No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
(But what about a testy tuck?)
10. Genesis 15:9 - The Lord answered, “Bring me a heifer three years old, a she-goat, three years old, a ram three years old, a turtle dove and a young pigeon.”
(I guess the Lord was trying to create a rock band or the worst variety act you’ve ever seen on Noah’s boat.)
There you have it, the unknown bible quotes from the bible that you should start preaching to everyone who throws bible verses at you.
It will start with a good conversation and end in the Middle East.
Here we are in 2015 and these laws still exist. Some of them may sound crazy but they are real laws. Have fun reading these.
1. Police are allowed to bite a dog if they think it will calm the dog (Ohio).....I wonder why this is never used as often as it should be?
2.Bear wrestling matches are prohibited (Alabama).....this sounds dangerous but exciting at the same time.
3. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue (Pennsylvania).....I can't tell you how many times I've done this.
4. A motorist with criminal intentions must stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town (Washington)......a full proof plan to catch criminals off guard, I hope it works out for them.
5. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling (Pennsylvania).....this had to have been made up by a man, anyone else think so?
6. It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church (Alabama).....oh boy, what a trouble maker you are, I bet you're going to hell.
7. It’s against the law for a woman to drive a car in Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag (Virginia).....I bet this was a law by auto insurances as a way to lower the rates if you add your wife to the policy.
8. It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel (Pennsylvania).....I'd be more worried about the cycles syncing up and this house being one big giant estrogen storm.
9. You can be arrested or fined for harassing Bigfoot (Washington).....I bet this law gets broken all the time.
10. It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.(Texas).....don't you touch my mother and stop calling her a cow.
11. A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed (Texas)....another full proof plan to stop crime.
12. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time (Alabama).....is that an ice cream cone in your back pocket or are you just gay?
13. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine (Arizona)......sooo, real cocaine is OK?
14. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month (Arkansas).....this sounds more like a Pennsylvania law.
15. Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool (California).....this just makes so much sense.
16. Throwing missiles at cars is illegal (Colorado).....yes, because that's exactly how they work.
17. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday (Conneticut).....more of a reason you need to have that love cushion on the side.
18. It is considered an offense to shower naked (Florida).....is there any other way?
19. One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth (Illinois)……this obviously happened so often that it had to be turned into a law which is disturbing.
20. Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds (Idaho)…..it’s a law only to save the lives of many men from being a victim of “I’m overweight because of all that chocolate” abuse.
21. The value of Pi is 3 (Indiana)…..isn’t it 3.14? No, not here, it’s just “3”.
22. The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire (Iowa)…..Gee, we’re sorry your house burnt down mister but we had to practice before coming, it’s the law and all.
23. Dogs may not molest cars (Kentucy)…..good luck enforcing this one, ugghh, it’s Kentucky for crying out loud.
24. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol (Louisiana)…..if robbing a bank wasn't enough, now you're going and getting someone all wet. They should rot in prison for that last piece.
25. It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies (Maryland)….people have obviously tried this for why it’s a law, which makes it even more scarier.
26. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house (Michigan)….Your honor, I was trying to steal the flatscreen TV but there carpet had a raised indent and I fell with the TV landing on my leg, breaking it. I was forced to eat their food and wait for an ambulance to come to someone else’s house like a caged animal.
27. Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely (Missourri)…..this seems backwards?
28. Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated (Montana)…..umm, how can you tell if a squirrel is worried?
29. Persons with gonorrhea may not marry (Nebraska)…..ohh come on, that’s an easy cop out.
30. It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs (West Virginia)…..honestly, this makes sense with the state this law is from.
31. Birds have the right of way on all highways (Utah)…..I can see this getting confusing.
32. If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them (South Dakota)......don't worry about this one, we took their land and reserved a space for them on it, they shouldn't be bothering you anytime soon.
33. A person must be eighteen years old to play a pinball machine (South Carolina)…..yeah, cause you know, that’s only an adult thing to do.
34. Idiots may not vote (New Mexico)……uhh, like the person that came up with this law?
There you have it. Some of the dumbest laws that are still enacted in the United States. Go out and have fun committing some of these.
Author - Scott Kelley
Need to laugh at life's audacities? You've come to the right place here at "The Town Crier". No topic is safe and everything will be mocked.